“My life goal is not to raise good kids, but yet to raise kids that love God, love people, and give their lives away for the kingdom.”– Jamie Ivey
Your Life Is Over
“You are so young and now you are going to be a mom. You know your life is done right? Once you have children, that’s it. You can kiss your dreams good bye. Your life is over.”
These were words I heard often when I announced that we were expecting our first child. The bubble of glee and excitement that I was in was quickly bursted when I suddenly began to receive all of the warnings of how my life-long dreams were going to be washed away in the sea of forgetfulness all because I was going to be a mother.
Personally, I am only in the beginning stages of motherhood and I haven’t gone through all the stages of raising a child.
However, I have seen the enemy implant lies not only in my head but in other mothers no matter where they were in the journey. So if you are a recent mother, soon to be mother or you have been on this train for a long time, I want to share good news with you about the divine delay you might be facing.
Your life has already been carefully hand crafted. Your identity is not in being a mother. Your identity is in being a daughter to a King. Sometimes it may seem like our calling, dreams and aspirations do not matter anymore, because our focus is so much on our families and other things but those desires that the lord gave you did not just evaporate into thin air.
Yes you can have it all, but that does not always mean it is all at the same time. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Whether your dream was to be the CEO of your own company, full time ministry, finish school or whatever it may be, all things are possible. Sure when you are single or you have no children it is easier to just get up and go. The route is going to be different with all the challenges of having a family, but the father has not forgotten about you. Having children just means they get to be a part of the process with you.
Faith over Fear
Something I struggled with deeply was balancing family, ministry and my job. I was working full time while working on writing music and expanding in my calling, but I also had to make time for my children and my dear husband. The fear of losing everything I worked years for caused me to over work myself and neglect my family without even realizing it. I would go through seasons of depression and deep regret of not going after my dreams the way I thought I was suppose to before the marriage and before the children. I was exhausted, my children missed me and I was on the brink of burning out. Finding a way to balance everything almost seemed impossible. If I would’ve kept going I would have caused more harm to myself and my family. I knew I had to make a change, but I didn’t know what to take out so God could come in and move. I was desperate.
Then one day the Lord told me to fast for 21 days before the year ended. I did not know what the fast was for exactly, but I was obedient to His request and during the fast I felt that God was going to bring a big change to my life. When I finished the fast I still had no idea what was coming. I questioned myself and wondered if perhaps it was all in my head. Then one morning during my time with Holy Spirit he revealed to me that He wanted me to quit my job. I thought “Lord, no. I love my job. I just got a raise. I enjoy what I do. I can’t see myself working anywhere else. Let me work.”
Again, I felt the Lord tell me it was time to move on and to have faith for he would provide and bring balance to my life. So I asked the Lord to bring me a confirmation and He did.
Three days after that encounter with Him our nanny approached me and she gave me her two week resignation. She had also finished a 21 day fast the same time I did and the Lord also told her to quit her job and that it was as well her time to move on to the next thing God had in store for her. I could not believe it. The confirmation was so clear to me I started laughing in amazement because I knew God was completely behind all of this. The next day I turned in my letter of resignation and a new chapter began. I felt like I had jumped off of a cliff and I was free falling. 3 months later, I see how the Lord truly made a way. I have time to focus on my family and my dreams. I am no longer overworked, worried about the future or dealing with certain pressures I no longer needed to have in my life. The Lord changed the dynamic within me which changed the atmosphere of our home. It was as if life was breathed into me, therefore I was able to bring life into the home. The Lord showed me the influence a mother has over the dynamic of the household. When I was at peace it was easier to be patient. When I rested in the Father I was able to be a place of rest for my husband and children. He showed me another way of achieving my goals while also being present as a mother and wife.
I thought clinging on to what I had would help me get to where I needed to be, but the Lord actually needed me to let go of the things I thought were good for me in order for there to be room for the things He knew were the best for me to come into play. That goodness overflowed into the rest my life. My marriage improved, my children are receiving the attentiveness they need and I still have time to do other things I love.
Your story might not look like mine. Your situation can be and is probably very different than mine. However, our God is the same. He knows what is best for you and He will take care of you. He has a plan that is custom to you. When He is the center of it all, things are bound to fall into place. Whatever your dream may be, the lord will provide the finances, resources and tools to get you there. Take that leap of faith.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”Mathew 6:33
Balance does not mean you have it all together and everything is perfectly aligned. Balance means you are operating out of a place of contentment, not from chaos. A few things I applied to my life to help me out were:
1. Holy Spirit has to be involved in everything.
I found that when my spiritual life was not in tact, everything was out of whack! Holy Spirit is my best friend. I unload all my troubles onto Him and he deals with my heart so my family doesn’t have to. There is nothing like a good personal worship session early in the morning with the Lord before everyone wakes up followed with prayer and the word. Being in His presence renews us and refreshes us.
2. Make time to grow.
Expand your knowledge, skills and gifts so you can achieve your dreams. God has not forgotten about them so you shouldn’t either! While the children are at school or taking a nap listen to a podcast or read a book that will bring enrichment to you. Put into practice your skills so you get better everyday and you always remain sharp.
3. Do not be afraid to ask for help.
Reach out to a friend, your family or spouse to help with the children. Take some time to reenergize whether that’s exercise, going for a drive, getting your nails done or doing some journaling. Whatever that may be. Take a moment to stop and breathe. These things can help to prevent falling into anxiety and depression.
What I found is that God would take care of whatever I placed into His hands. Family is our first ministry and our most important priority. Everything else has its place after. Its about doing what’s right in your current season and then re-evaluating when needed as things progress and change. Give yourself grace and remain hopeful. Your calling still remains, your destiny still remains and your children will get to be the witnesses of how God will reward you for your obedience, fearlessness and reckless pursuit for His heart.
Through all the pressure, fear and insecurities God just wanted me to trust in Him. Perhaps today the Lord is telling you to surrender as well. You have been carrying the burdens all by yourself and you too feel as if it will never end. Well there is hope.
You are a great mom with an even greater God who has great things in store for you. I pray that the Lord will give you strength and peace. That He will bless you and your family. I pray that all insecurities, fear and doubt become silent in your life. My hope is that you will lay down your life to Him and that you will give Him your burdens in exchange for His which are light. I believe the Lord is awakening many Godly mothers that will be examples to not only their children, but to the world of what a fulfilling life looks like under the guidance of our precious Holy Spirit. May His favor be upon you in Jesus name.
Blog by Alexandra Peiffer
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